MySpace Migrated Blog #3

Originally posted to MySpace on February 22, 2007

I really should get better about posting these things, but I never can seem to get the inspiration. And even when I do get the inspiration, who says anyone will read what I type? :)

Today's Inspiration:
It drives me up the wall to see the behaviors of some children in today's world - and I blame the parents. What happened to parenting by setting rules and making your children follow them? With an alarmingly large number of parents, it is no longer the societal norm to "be a parent". Too many of today's parents spend their time trying to be their child's friend, trying to make sure their kids are having fun, and even worse, making sure their kids think they are cool. What these parents do not realize is they are setting their children up for failure, and it will be the fault of the parents.

Children need structure. Children need rules. Children need boundaries. Children need responsibilty. Children need repercussions.

I am thankful every day for my normal, well-adjusted, well-behaved, mannerful children who have great grades and attendance. I set rules for my children and both of them have a daily routine. They know when they are expected to get out of bed, eat meals, take showers, and go to bed. They know if they step out-of-bounds with their behavior, there will be consequences. My children know the only person they can blame for their behaviors and punishments is themselves and they do not blame others. Where are the rest of the children like mine.

Those of you who do no have contact with "today's children" on a daily basis probably do not have a complete understanding of what I am writing about, so I'll give a brief summary. ~I am a middle school secretary.~ On a daily basis, I see children come in to the office, in trouble, blaming everyone except themselves for their behavior: "That teacher doesn't like me. The teacher is picking on me. SuzyQ told me to do it. My mama ain't gonna do nothin'." Daily. I hear these daily. When the parents are called, do you know what a frighteningly large number of them say? "Stop picking on my child." Yes, that's right. Because we set rules and boundaries for their children and because we have consequences when those rules and boundaries are not followed, we are "picking" on their child. These are the same parents who don't repremand the children at home when they have been repremanded at schol. The same parents who let their children do whatever they want, whenever they want and do not pay attention to who their friends are or what they are involved in. Sadly, too many of these children end up in alternative schools or jail, end up on drugs, pregnant, or assaulted by a "friend".

Parents, stop being your child's friend and start being a parent. Your children have friends. They probably have more than you realize and perhaps they shouldn't have some of the ones they have. As a parent, you should know everything about your child. Give them their privacy, but know what they are doing, who they are with, and how they are behaving. SUPPORT the teachers and administrators who have been put in charge of your child's education and monitoring their behavior. If your child has gotten in trouble at school, SURPRISE, they were probably doing something they should not have been doing. You have to realize that children act differently at school and around their friends, than they do at home, around their parents. It's probably not the teacher's fault or the principal's fault when your child has gotten in trouble. And worse of all, don't question your child's repremand and argue about their punishment FRONT of your child. You are teaching your child that no matter what they do, you are going to take their side and you are going to bail them out of trouble. You're going to have a hard time doing that when your child is standing in front of a judge because of a behavior they carried out due to the fact they were never taught to take responsibility for ALL of their actions, not just the good ones.

For the sake of your child and your child's safety and future, STOP being their friend and start being their parent.